Archive for June, 2004

Clear Channel To Add Song

Posted in News & Commentary on June 24, 2004 by gluvox

SAN ANTONIO, TX – In a move some media insiders are calling “controversial”, media giant Clear Channel has decided to expand the play-list of it’s Tucson rock affiliate KRQQ exponentially.

Beginning June 26, the MOR (“middle of the road”) station will be adding another song to station’s regular rotation. That song, “Middle Of The Road”, a 1984 hit by the Pretenders, will bring the current play-list to a marathon, and some say unwieldy, ten songs.

But while some lonely, tired and anonymous music fans applauded the move, other move-analysis-experts were reluctant to join in on the clapping.

“I understand sometimes you need to dive in head-first,” explained Jordan Mann from It’s Your Move Media Analysis, “but I worry about losing our audience into a giant tidal wave of unfamiliar songs.”

“I haven’t heard that song since the 80s and I don’t remember all the words” said Terri, an aspiring soccer mom. “I’m worried about how I’ll be able to sing along to it during my morning commute.”

Clear Channel representative Julian Puffin explained that by August the song will have played so many times, it will be as deeply ingrained into the consciousness of the station’s audience as such consciousness mainstays as ‘consumer panic’ and ‘white guilt’.

Puffin hopes this projection will calm execs and stockholders alike who are concerned about the costs of paying extra royalties for the added spin.

“If I have to cancel another helicopter shark hunting expedition due to risky format changes, my family can look forward to another year of ugly temper tantrums,” remarked one exec who asked for his name withheld.

However, none of this seemed to damper Stop and Shop night-clerk Tad Beecher’s enthusiasm for the added variety. “My boss won’t let us change the station; now I have one less reason to kill him.”